Storytelling tip: How to introduce a villain in your copy

There's a saying in sales copywriting:

"Don't sell a better mousetrap. Sell a bigger, scarier mouse."

The big, scary mouse is your villain.

And introducing one is one of the most effective storytelling techniques you can use in your copy — because it does something subtle but powerful: it shifts the blame away from your reader, and onto the thing that's actually standing in their way.

What is the ‘villain’ in copywriting?

The villain isn't always a person. In your story, it's whatever is getting in the way of your reader's success or happiness. It could be:

• a person (a bad boss, a nightmare client)

• a belief ("I just need to work harder")

• a habit (DIY-ing everything to save money)

• a system, pattern, or industry norm

The reason villains work in copywriting — and in storytelling generally — is because they help your reader feel seen. They get to point at something external and say: yes, that's the problem. That's what's been stopping me.

This is a psychological concept called externalising, and it's crucial for conversion. Nobody buys from a brand that's guilt-tripping them. But they will buy from a brand that understands their frustration and has a solution.

How to introduce a villain using the PAS framework

PAS (Pain / Agitate / Solve) is one of the simplest and most effective copywriting frameworks around. Pair it with a villain, and it’s even better.

Here's how it works — let’s pretend you’re a brand designer, and DIY design is our ‘villain’

Pain: Introduce the villain

This is where you name the problem and frame it clearly.

You thought DIY-ing your design would save time and money — and at first it kind of did. But now you've got Canva templates, Pinterest boards, and random fonts that don't even resemble second cousins…

Agitate: Pile on the consequences

Here's where you show how bad the problem really is if left to run wild.

• Nothing looks cohesive across your marketing channels — and it's giving your prospects major whiplash

• You second-guess every colour, font, and layout because you're not sure what looks "on brand"

• Your days are spent fiddling on Canva instead of doing the work that actually lights you up (and pays your bills)

Solve: Bring in your offer

Now the positive messaging — your solution.

Professional design creates a cohesive brand experience that feels aligned at every touchpoint. It builds trust faster, converts easier, and shifts your position from "that designer might be okay" to "she's the one I gotta book."

What's the villain in your industry?

When you nail this sequence, your reader arrives at your offer already primed. They feel the pain — but they don't feel guilty about it. They want the solution. That's the sweet spot.

So: what's the villain in your industry? The belief that keeps your ideal client stuck? The habit that's costing them? The industry norm that no one's challenging?

Name it. Frame it. Then show them the way out.

(Or get me to write it for you!)